For many people, the idea of working with the deceased may seem disturbing or even disturbing. But for Australian mortician Danielle Calvaresi, it is a calling rooted in compassion, dedication and a deep desire to provide bereaved families with one last positive memory of their loved ones.
At just 13 years old, Calvaresi attended her grandmother’s funeral and was impressed by an image that would stay with her forever. “I remember my grandmother looking gray and waxy,” she recalled in a recent interview. “It really intrigued me, and I started feeling fascinated by the idea of helping people look better after they’ve passed.” From that moment, she knew she wanted to pursue a career where she could help families have a more peaceful and positive final memory of their loved ones.
Calvaresi initially ventured into the beauty industry, but just before the birth of her daughter, she made the important decision to pursue her passion. To gain practical experience in a mortuary, she took a job at a funeral home and soon enrolled in a mortuary course. As he explained, embalming is both an art and a science: It involves replacing the blood in the body with a special fluid to preserve and clean it, a process that can be affected by a number of factors, including the condition of the body and the cause of death.
Now a funeral consultant and vice-president of the Australian Embalming Institute, Calvaresi is helping to dispel some of the myths associated with his profession. “People often think embalmers are creepy, but we’re just normal people,” he said, adding that humor plays a big role in the emotional resiliency of those in the funeral industry. “We lean on each other for support and use humor to help get through difficult moments.”
While the emotional load of the job can be heavy, especially when dealing with particularly traumatic cases, Calvaresi finds purpose in the knowledge that she is providing families with a final, peaceful memory of their loved one. “I’ve been in a situation where no one looks peaceful, and it leaves a lasting impression. So, to be able to give families that last chance to hold their hand or see their face one more time – that’s what keeps me going forward,” he shared, clearly impressed by the idea.
Through her work, Calvaresi has learned the importance of balance – between the technical aspects of her job and the emotional support she provides to families. It is this dedication to both science and human connection that continues to inspire him even after so many years.
As she reflects on the path she took, Calvaresi is grateful for the opportunity to provide a sense of comfort amid deep loss. And, for those who may feel called to this work, she has one piece of advice: “If you’re doing it for the right reasons, it can be one of the most rewarding careers you can choose.”